Purposeful Conversation
Can Clear Up Your Goals

There are some surprisingly easy techniques to help people find a more satisfying career, Howard Sambol told the general meeting of Marin Professionals January 13, 1999.

Sambol, a career counselor at AOL, did more than talk about the methods. He demonstrated one of them by carrying on a goal-clarifying dialogue in which two people asked questions of each other with the intention of narrowing down a broad interest to something specific. Sambol had everyone doing the dialogues after his demonstration questioning of an audience volunteer.

The volunteer began by saying that she likes to design living spaces. Howard picked out only the word "design," and wrote it on a marker board. It's important to start with a broad topic to leave more room for possibilities, he said.

As the dialogue continued, the volunteer said creativity and self-expression are important to her, more so in design than in a verbal way. It is organizational design that appeals to her, not visual design. She likes to make order out of chaos. Home design, clothing, dance and all manner of aesthetics appeal to her.

As the process got more specific, the volunteer talked about other values important to her: harmony, comfort, healing, helping others, being at rest, music, and the sounds of nature.

It wasn't until the dialogue ended and Sambol had the floor again that the volunteer realized that her dream is to create a restful day spa. "I got it while you were talking for me," she said.

Sambol said any two people can do the "clarity dialogue" process. No professionally qualified therapists or coaches are needed. "All I did was ask questions. I asked what I wanted to know. You share who you are with others. You are each capable of giving special gifts." There is no wrong way of doing it, he said.

The one rule Sambol posted about the dialogue is that there should be no immediate discussion about money and marketing. It brings in "the survival fear element which works against the creative element," he said.

Although it's good to be goal-oriented, it's important to remember that achieving one's goals amounts to about 1 percent of one's life, said Sambol. The other 99 percent is called living, and it ought to be fun. Remembering that most of life is a process is important, he said.

Desire is the key to finding right livelihood, said Sambol. Questions that help one stay focused on desire include:

• Am I generally excited about this?
• Are my goals vague? (If you set vague goals, you don't really know when they are achieved, and it doesn't feel like a win, he said.)
• Is it enjoyable to pursue?
• "Obstacles come up in this process, but they're great. Celebrate them," said Sambol. "Where can you learn but from them?"

Obstacles knock people out of the routine, and they are a little like something pulling a fish out of water, said Sambol. Fish don't know water because they swim in it. It's only when someone pulls them out of the water, and their routine is upset, that they know what water really is, he said.

A bonus for those who attended the meeting was the extensive packet that Sambol distributed to all. It gives tips about creating goals for 1999, and is almost a mini-course in helping a person break new ground in setting career goals.

Anyone interested in knowing more about Sambol and his career-crafting Marin County consulting firm, Encompass, can call him at 415-472-3383 or visit the web site at www.careercraft.com. Of special interest on the web site is an article titled "Shifting Viewpoints," said Sambol. It can be reached by clicking on "articles."